As your president, I am faced with hard decisions, the hardest of decisions, I mean really hardy.
Today I threw out threats to China about tariffs, I haven’t done this for a while, maybe I was LATE AGAIN, maybe not.
All you people buying stocks and investing in companies within the US, a market I built, wealth I built for you as your benevolent leader, I appreciate. My family and friends that get the high-sign before I open my mouth like today, also love getting notified in advance so they can load up or short the market. Hey, I help them and they donate to my election campaign.
Today was one of those big move days. I was getting a lot of pressure from my inner circle to pump their portfolios so, under pressure, I dropped a message bomb to blow up the US market. Consider it like this, Your lord (ME) givith and your lord takeeth away. I know all my Christian supporters get this, wink wink.
As far as all of you that lost, you’re on the wrong side, join meeeeeeee. I will lead you to the promised land!
Love
Fondled Trump
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